I have finally chosen to come out and share with everyone that the MRI I received back in April was not the best news and I’ve had two other MRIs since (one specialized one), which only a few know about and I’ve asked them to keep it confidential 💖
I thought I was forever healed, yet something has shown up again in my brain which has made it seem like everything I’ve learned throughout these last almost 3 years was a lie! Rather than looking at it through the lens of I DID HEAL whatever THAT was in THAT version of me… I did take the right paths to heal THAT version of me based on my intuition THEN.
Life is a healing journey! We’re always going through something and growing from it, thus healing those inner wounds, the imbalances and DIS-EASES within our bodies. It’s the mysteries of life and the unpredictability that make LIFE exciting! 🥰 Without the downs, we’d never enjoy the ups… without that contrast, the ups would be normal everyday living and we’d take life for granted. As many of you now can relate with this Pandemic and all the violent incidents happening in our own country.
But instead I felt like a fraud. I felt inauthentic. It didn’t even feel good anymore to start my Podcast, “BE 4EVER HEALED!” because it no long resonated. There is NO SUCH THING as being forever healed and THAT’S the epiphany I’ve had in the last few days.
I felt like EVERYTHING I’ve learned and thought I knew wasn’t true. Because it made NO SENSE! I kept saying, “what did I miss?” later realizing that was just making myself wrong, as if I didn’t do enough! 🤦🏻♀️ And after multiple hours of coaching from various coaches, mentors, and fellow coach friends, I realized it wasn’t this thing in my brain that scared the SHIT out of me, NO… And it wasn’t death, because I KNOW it is NOT my time to leave this planet… I AM CLEAR that my work here is NOT done yet and my purpose is yet to be fulfilled… TO 90 AND BEYOND BABY!!! 🦄💖💫
No, instead I felt like well then if EVERYTHING I’ve learned and what I preach to my clients is all wrong, NOW WHAT?! How the F do I heal this now if that wasn’t the “right” way?!
And THAT was the key to all my answers – THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY! There are infinite possibilities when it comes to EVERYTHING, and that includes HEALING… that also includes healing different versions of oneself! What I am experiencing now is NOT the same… I am not the same person even! So how could it be?!
This in fact is just another opportunity to grow exponentially, share my NEW healing journey with you all AND with all that I have learned and the knowledge I now have, treat this as a completely new experience (BECAUSE IT IS A NEW EXPERIENCE, IT IS NOT THE SAME THING) while still living life to the fullest in the face of even this circumstance!
This is a whole new experience! It is NOT the same thing – THAT was an avocado sized tumor that’s been healed and I surpassed whatever prognosis there is for the diagnosis of glioblastoma (GBM). This is barely 6mm – the size of a lentil! AND as far as we know it’s a lesion, inconclusive and they have NO IDEA what the makeup of it is…
I always look at what’s the gift in everything that doesn’t go how I’d like it to, and discovering the gift was a HUGE blind spot for weeks! I kept envisioning it to be gone, without accepting that something is in fact in my brain, whatever that may be. In other words, I was completely resisting what’s so rather than surrendering to what is!
All week I’ve been feeling more and more compelled to begin sharing my journey, it’s what’s authentic to me… especially after this last specialized MRI I had on Wednesday the 27th of May where we had to play the patience game that I feel like I’ve mastered at this point for over 24 hours to then get the “inconclusive” results 🤦🏻♀️
I definitely have been taking more time off and allowing myself to just BE and watch mindless TV 💁🏻♀️ I am grateful for my clients that have been super understanding during this time as I reschedule our calls. AND because I know how fulfilling it is to have my client calls and the LIVES, I SHOWED UP Friday for them all. I even had my dear friend Anna stop by, with whom I started sharing that I’ve been feeling compelled to share what I’ve been dealing with and be authentic, which was perfect timing because right then she got a message! And said: “What if that’s the GIFT?!” I immediately felt a wave of energy flow throughout my entire body and I felt like Jell-O about to fall out my chair as she too felt ALL the goosebumps! As energy workers, we know that goosebumps aka Spiritual Chills are all signs from Source, our Higher Self, and Spiritual Guides pointing to YESSSS! THAT’S IT!!!
Eckhart Tolle once said: “forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, it is translated to peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.“
I finally get this quote now because I have forgiven myself for being human, for having fear, doubts, and all the things I did NOT get the chance to experience last time in 2017, where I had to jump to my highest self immediately as I was escorted to the ER the ICU right after my MRI and then had to BE LOVE! There was NO TIME for processing what was happening.
This experience has already allowed me to become more relatable to others especially my clients, feel the fears and doubts of what people do go through and experience. And even with all the fears and doubts that were there, continuously reach for the light, for that higher frequency, and consistently take on actions that support my healing journey, even when my ego doesn’t want to!
We are forever healing because we are forever growing… until we’re not… and that is when we take our LAST BREATH! THIS IS THE JOURNEY OF LIFE! 😍 And it is a GIFT; a gift to uncover and HEAL the dis-eases and imbalances within our bodies, whether from childhood traumas or adulthood traumas… or even if it may be for exactly this: to share my journey with you all once again from a NEW and more ENLIGHTENED VERSION of ME and impacting many, one HUMAN BEING at a time!!! 🦄💖💫
P.S. I’m back on to be excited about creating my PODCAST now that I’ve changed the name: The Healing Journey of LIFE!