Do you feel like there was something about the experiences you had growing up that played an outsized role in setting you up for success later in life?
I believe childhood plays a HUGE part in every single person’s life and what they do with their life. Childhood is where most of our internal wounds are created, then we spend most of our adulthood healing those wounds if we first and foremost allow ourselves to become aware of those wounds and courageous enough to dig deep and uncover those dark places and memories in our minds. Some of those out there are so numb to their childhood experiences that they don’t even remember them nor care to even go there. Thankfully, I have always been the opposite.
Growing up I didn’t have the easiest childhood. I was born in Frankfurt, Germany and we moved to Denver, Colorado in the winter of 1987 where I learned English as my third language. We lived in different parts of the city for 5 years. My mom and I moved to Iran for a year and half, where I attended 7th grade and had to learn to read and write a whole new language and alphabet, then back to Colorado again in the 8th grade, yet another school! And then to a completely different high school due to an honors program called IB, which now looking back I’m grateful super for. Shortly into high school my parents divorced. High School was definitely not the best of times for me. I don’t have many fond memories of those days.
There is one particular incident that seems to have played a key role in my life. I was quite the outgoing, rambunctious, curious kid, always asking questions and wanting to know “Why?”. I also remember 5th grade vividly and my 5th grade teacher, Ms. Parson; the only elementary school teacher’s name I remember. I was aware of what had happened for years, but I didn’t realize how much it had stopped me from BEING who I am until I started to do the work on myself and begin the healing process. I remember sitting around a square-like brown desk facing the window. The desk was surrounded with 8-10 kids, all close enough to hear Ms. Parson and burst out laughing after her response. I ask a question, as usual and her response in a very frustrated tone as she hovered over me to look at my piece of paper: “OMG Anuschka! You’re so stupid, how did you make it to the 5th grade?!”.
Yes, that happened. It is in the past, yet I had made it mean SO many things about myself. This moment in my childhood shifted and shaped my life for years to come! It was only in my mid-thirties that I discovered this. So much in my life was based on a decision I made back then:
1) I will never ask a question, I will always figure it out myself!
2) I will prove I am smart and not stupid, hence Computer Science and Engineering degree.
3) The thought of raising my hand, let alone speak in public frightened me so much that I could feel my heart throbbing in my throat and a faint feeling.
4) I get triggered when I feel that people are laughing “at” me.
5) I will never say the answer or speak up in a group unless I KNOW I am correct.
I mean this could probably go on for awhile. You get the idea.
I enjoyed my 15+ year Computer and Consulting career with many rewards and promotions throughout the years, and I am grateful for the opportunites and skillsets I now have due to it. With the Universe having my back, I was recently laid off from Qualcomm and I have closed that book in my life, successfully, allowing me space to be catapulted into my new Coaching career as an Entrepreneur.
I will be completing 2018 out with this last cycle of chemotherapy and a goodbye to my Optune device. Although MRI’s will continue for awhile, I am beyond ecstatic to start focusing more on building my business on a full time basis as I serve those in need of Empowerment!